By George Stephenson
With a tip of the hat to Clement Clarke Moore (1779-1863)
Twas the night before New Year’s and all through the world
We look back at the year and all that’s unfurled.
History was written with victories and defeat,
And some things we’re hoping we’ll never repeat.
It began long ago in the primary season
With a candidate hopeful beyond any reason.
Treated as comedy along with each gaffe;
No one knew then, he’d have the last laugh.
Out on the trail there arose such a clatter.
His Twitter feeds caused his opponents to scatter.
Now, Carson! Now Huckabee! Now Rubio and Cruz,
Downed by a clown with nothing to lose.
Boastful and crude, the insults they flew,
From a bagful of wind with a bright orange hue.
And finally, at the end, the pollsters were stumped,
As their whole country was thoroughly trumped.
Barack and Hillary just watched with dismay,
As all that they’ve done might be swept away.
But even as the outcome got stuck in their throats,
The odd fact remained: she got the most votes.
In Canada we watched with such disbelief,
And gazed at Ottawa with a sense of relief.
Our PM ain’t perfect, even he would agree,
But his policies aren’t making anyone flee.
Some said to Canada they would surely run,
We do welcome all, but forget your gun.
But, really, very few will actually leave;
They’ll just hope that in four years they’ll get a reprieve.
And, anyway, where in the world could they go?
Not Britain, still dealing with its own tale of woe.
Its Brexit vote there put many on edge,
And others there still trying to get off the ledge.
The right wing in France thinks they’ll get a bump,
They feel they can pull off their own Donald Trump.
Just scare the people with a fear of the others,
Get them all worried for their daughters and mothers.
While Putin’s in Russia, his hands were abroad,
And except for the Donald, none would applaud.
Computers were hacked and territories taken;
Aleppo, Crimea and others are still shaken.
Iceland might work, there’s not many haters,
Its PM was sunk by the Panama Papers.
The Pirate Party there is now on the rise,
Its vote share this year tripled in size.
Then there is Manitoba with a government new,
But people still wonder what it will do.
Its policies appear to be hidden away,
Leaving its opponents with nothing to say.
The NDP we could just eulogize,
As it still ponders its self-inflicted demise.
Some members seem taken to witness protection,
While others now question their early defection.
But that year is past, father time drifts away.
We have to move on without any delay.
But we hear him exclaim, ere he drives out of sight,
Happy New Year to All, Next Time Get It Right!
— Originally published in the December 2016 issue of The Manitoba Teacher